How many times have you heard “just be yourself” from well-meaning friends and family members?

But when it comes to pickup, unless you are a total natural, I would respectfully disagree that “Just be yourself” is all you need to successfully approach and close women. Otherwise, that would mean that there is actually no reason for most PUA training, as well as PUA websites, to exist.

The reason I say this, is because some of us are naturally shy or retiring, which doesn’t lend itself well to PUA. Just being ourselves would not enable us to open chicks (although they might like us if they somehow got to know us first, such as through a social circle intro).

In order to first open and pull a girl, people like us need to “put on the mantle” of a PUA so that she is attracted to the way we approach, and then later on can find out about the real person underneath.

Go forward under this “guise” of PUA and you won’t be rejected for your real personality–you can’t, since you’re “putting on an act” for now, while you learn.

This will lessen your approach anxiety considerably, because, after all, you’re just putting on a act, and being shot down doesn’t matter! When you approach a girl, pretend to yourself you are Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt doing a take during a shoot for a romantic movie. Allow yourself to be much cooler and smoother than how you actually feel at the moment.

If you do get a negative reaction from the girl, think of her as your fellow actress in the scene who’s throwing a little acting improvisation at you. React the way Tom Cruise would react if the director didn’t yell cut, and keep the act going–imagine how Brad Pitt would improvise a comeback to a “get lost, creep” from the girl. Try to salvage the scene, don’t just get flustered and run away. Just like in a movie shoot, you have unlimited takes, and you will eventually nail your lines.

The actual mechanics of how you approach is something you can consistently work on and get better at over time, but for now as a beginner, use this inner game visualization as a crutch, or training aid.

Once you start getting good at pickup, you won’t need to put on the guise anymore… it will become who you actually are. Only then does the advice “be yourself” apply, because by then your natural self will be a smooth confident pickup artist. It’s sort of a case of “fake it til you make it.”

It does take time to truly change your thought processes and mannerisms though, so keep plugging away at it! One day you won’t even realize you have put aside the “mantle” of a PUA, and are now actually a bona-fide PUA.