This field report covers the first time I was able to successfully do a direct cold approach on the street with a bona-fide “hot chick.”

Plan: Clubbing in Bellevue.
Friday 10:00 PM

I met my buddy JayBird at the Bellevue subway station and we walked toward the Hancock Club area to see what might be shakin’ at Hancock Club.

Previously, I had believed JayBird to be a smooth ladies’ man, but he admitted today that he was actually very shy when it comes to girls. When I mentioned that I would just try to go up to random girls and dance with them at clubs, he said he never had the balls to do that. I was a bit disappointed because I had expected him to be a solid experienced wingman for me tonight. Oh well.

While waiting for the walk signal to change so we could cross the street, I glanced to my left and saw a hot chick — a very pretty girl in a skirt… she had that look that I really liked, cute/pretty, fairly tall, slender with gorgeous legs. I briefly thought about approaching her at that moment, but she was about 10 feet away so I didn’t feel I had a good opening.

“Look at that,” I said to JayBird, indicating the girl with my head. “Should I go talk to her? Come on, let’s do it!” I urged him half-jokingly. He just shook his head a little bit and laughed.

We waited about 30 seconds more, and as I toyed with the idea of chatting her up, I knew I wouldn’t do it. It had just been too long since I had done this and I now had some approach anxiety. The light turned green, and I suddenly thought at that point, if she came close to me as we crossed the street, it was a now-or-never moment, and I told myself I HAD to chat her up.

Lo and behold, she came up right behind me as we crossed the street. I turned just my head toward her and I said “Hey you’re so cute, are you from around her?” She gave me a surprised but receptive look, and kind of shook her hand in the air quickly and smiled shyly, indicating she wasn’t. I then said, “You’re not from around here?” I added again, “You’re so cute.”

At this point we had reached the other side of the street, and she and I stopped at the corner, with JayBird moving away a bit down one street and waiting, and her friend moving away down the other street and waiting. I then asked her whether or not she had a boyfriend. She said “no,” so I replied, “You don’t? Why not? Being so pretty and all.” She giggled again and looked away.

At that point we chatted a bit; I told her my friend and I were going dancing, and would she like to join us. She hesitated real hard at that point, so I knew then that she was keen on me, and that I had her.

While chatting her up, I got a bit nervous at times, and my leg would begin shaking a bit (it always shakes when I’m nervous).

In the end, her friend kept motioning her to go… at one point, she kind of waved her friend away, to which the friend responded indignantly, “You want me to leave alone?!?” Hilarious.

Because her friend compelled her to leave, I briefly toyed with not taking down her number. I said “Okay…” as if ending the conversation, but she hung back, obviously not wanting to leave yet. At this point, I asked her to coffee (with JayBird standing nearby now), to which she agreed, and wrote down her number on an old Starbucks receipt I had kept handy in my wallet (for just such an occasion). I also gave her my business card. Then I said I would call her, and said goodbye.

Overall, the whole pickup with a bona-fide pretty and sexy girl went much easier than I would have thought. JayBird said my pickup was the most amazing thing he had ever seen. Lol.

After this JayBird and I stopped by Sixpence Bar for a drink. Lots of guys picking up girls there, but the girls were all pretty much broke looking.

11:00 PM

JayBird and I started heading over to QuikSilver Club. When we rounded a corner, I saw two random girls, not too hot or anything, heading toward us. “Hi,” I said cheerfully, to no response. “Hi, where you going,” I said while they headed away without even looking back. JayBird and I laughed nervously at their lack of response.

Another two girls came toward us a minute later. “Hi, where you going?” I said again cheerfully. One of the girls said a brief and somewhat disinterested “Hi…” as they passed by. I discussed with JayBird the difficulty of stopping girls moving in the opposite direction.

We reached QuikSilver and went inside. There was hardly anyone on the dance floor, so any dance attempts (especially rejections!) would be seen by everyone. JayBird and I got a drink at the bar and stayed at the bar, staring at the dance floor for long minutes. We saw a number of promising looking girls dancing, but we keep reconning the scene, not wanting to attempt such a public dance attempt.

I finally told JayBird after about 20 minutes, I’m going to go dance with that girl wearing blue. She had bumped my elbow at the bar while buying a drink, so I figured at least she had seen me, and we had made minimal contact before my dance attempt.

JayBird said go for it!

ATTEMPT 1
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So I got up, went toward the girl in blue, who was dancing with two of her friends, and approached the group, dance-stepping lightly. I moved close to the group, and was now in position to make my move. I felt a brief wave of doubt.

At that point, a vehement “F*it! Go!” went through my mind and I moved in, dancing directly and purposefully in front of her. The girl kind of withdrew a bit and tried to turn toward her friends a bit, but I cut her off and moved her back away from her group, dancing the whole time. She backed up, dancing with me, but she was clearly self-conscious. She danced with me for about 30 seconds, and I could see her about to make a move back toward her group, starting to raise her hands in an apologetic gesture.

At this point, I leaned in and asked her what her name was. She replied with her name, after which I gave her my name, and chatted her up lightly as we danced. She seemed to relax and began dancing with me comfortably. I realized she was average cute, not really too hot or anything.

I didn’t attempt to touch her or put my hand on her back at this point, as her friends were so close and everyone in the club could see us. We had a short conversation, with her asking me questions so I knew she was interested. She was a college student. She guessed my age at 23, to which I laughed out loud. She asked me if I had come alone, and I replied I had come with a friend who was too scared to dance, to which she laughed.

After about a minute more of dancing, I thanked her for the dance, and said I had to go see my friend. I bid her farewell and left the dance floor, going back to JayBird.
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I told JayBird what happened, and that we should try a “divide and conquer” strategy on a pair of girls. We watched people dance for about 15 minutes more. We witnessed one guy in a striped shirt get shot down, by a pair of chubby girls, no less.

“Whenever you’re ready!” I urged JayBird. He replied he might need another drink. Lol.

After about 15 more minutes, I urged him that we should go try to dance with a couple of girls dancing near the bar. He finally agreed, and we moved our way through the crowd toward the girls, but they had sat down at the bar in the interim. So we went back to the bar for a bit.

ATTEMPT 2
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Finally, I saw those same girls dancing again, so JayBird and I headed over there. One of the girls was shorter and really flat-chested and skinny, so I told JayBird I’d bite the bullet and take that one. As we broke into the pair, my girl backed up reaaaaally far with a surprised expression, clearly wanting to dart back to her friend. I tried to engage her in conversation to a lukewarm response. Finally, she seemed to accept the situation of dancing with me for the moment, but for some reason began dancing in a very exaggerated forceful fashion. I followed suit, nodding my head vehemently up and down, but about 15 seconds later she dashed back to her friend. It turns out JayBird had been shot down by the taller better looking girl in the meantime, so we went back and looked for the pair of chubby girls to try instead, but we couldn’t find them.

At this point I noticed one small very skinny girl with a halter top and fully exposed belly who was dancing really sexily, almost dirtily.

We headed back to the bar. “I take rejection personally” JayBird said morosely. “Don’t worry about it,” I admonished him. “It’s not personal… they reject us because they don’t know us.”
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JayBird seemed a bit low on morale, so we went to the other side of the club and watched people dance for about 15 minutes. We admired some sexy dancers, and finally sat at the small tables near the wall. I tried chatting up a girl and her friend sitting next to her, asking her random questions. They walked off after a minute. “I scared them!” I exclaimed to JayBird, and we both laughed.

We watched people dancing for about 20 minutes more.

12:00 AM Midnight

Attempt 3
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Sexy halter top girl is now dancing with a friend very close to the tables. I try to move in on her as I walk onto the dance floor, thinking she will be receptive because she dances so well and enthusiastically, but she instantly recoils and moves away. I look back at JayBird and laugh, which helps mitigate the abrupt rejection.

Attempt 4
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I move into the crowd, looking for promising girls to dance with. I pass by a girl in yellow and her friend, briefly contemplating jumping in. I see the girl in yellow cup her friend’s ear and say something… I wonder if it’s about me. I circle around behind them, contemplating moving on briefly.

But I dance close to them for a while and then move closer behind them, trying to decide whether to move in on the girl in yellow or her friend, who is closer. I finally decide I think the girl in yellow is cuter, and I circle around and get next to her. I dance side by side with her briefly, then tell myself to move in!

As I turn and slide in front of her, I see the predictable uncomfortable smile and half-hearted move to get away. She eventually starts dancing with me very self-consciously as three of her friends hoot and holler her on. I lean in and engage her in conversation, at which point she begins to relax more and start asking me questions. She is still not fully into me, so I hesitate to put my hands on her. I ask if she’s a college student, to which she laughs in an embarrassed manner. I realize she looks a bit older on closer inspection, maybe about 25 or 26.

The DJ calls for the crowd to cheer and put our hands up. This gives me the excuse to put my hands up above her head and move in closer. She starts becoming more comfortable dancing and I am debating when I should make my move to get more physical with her, and decide it’s still too early. She has been fanning her face with her hand occasionally the whole time, clearly embarrassed somewhat. I dance with her for about another minute, still not sure if it’s wise to try to encircle her waist with my arm… I am afraid she will cut off the dance and run back to her friends, who are very close by.

But her friend next to her grabs her hand, twirls her, and pulls her out of reach at the other side of the group. I give her a smile and nod and slowly head away, not feeling I having many options left with that group. Cockblocked! I think I should have just put my arm around her early, friends or no friends around!!

Attempt 5
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I see a group of three girls, two getting freaked from behind and one with a guy hovering behind her. She seems disinterested and turns away from the group. I move in near her, and as she turns completely away from her group, she faces smack into me. I try to engage her at this point, but she turns sideways to me and won’t re-engage. So I eject and move through the crowd back to JayBird. I realize in a bit that this was the very first group I danced with… the girl in blue must not have appreciated that dance attempt.

I can’t find JayBird so I decide to go to the bathroom. As I come out, I see a hot girl standing there alone. “Should I approach her?” I wonder. I am unsure so I move a bit toward the side tables. Finally, I sit down on a recliner bench. I keep glancing back at the hot girl, once, twice, three times. She is alone in a bubble. I feel I should approach, but I get approach anxiety and I don’t.

JayBird comes walking up. I give him a high five and have him sit down, hopefully giving me social proof with the hot girl. I am about to make an excuse to head toward the entrance so I can approach the hot girl, but just then her girlfriend walks out of the bathroom and off they go together. Chance is gone.

1:00 AM

I tell JayBird we gotta make one more attempt before he leaves. He gives half-hearted acquiesance, saying he needs to catch the 1:30 bus, which means he has to leave in 20 minutes. After 15 minutes of us watching the dancers, he uses the restroom and gathers his belongings. He’s done for the night. I tell him I’m gonna stay and try to get the girl in yellow’s number. This time I plan to just grab her by the waist off the bat. JayBird wishes me luck and tells me to tell him what happens, then leaves.

I sit for about 15 minutes more just watching the dancers. I chat up a girl who comes and sits next to me, but she’s new to clubbing, and very shy—she won’t dance or go outside with me to chat. Her friends comes by occasionally (one of her guy friends gives me a death stare), but she keeps sitting down next to me instead of going away with her friends. Finally, after about 20 minutes, her friends pull her away.

I watch dancers for about 15 minutes more… various people come and go on the seat next to me. I notice MANY hot girls are coming in the club now. The girl I was chatting with is standing about 15 feet away with her friends. After about 10 minutes, she comes and stands right to my right.

Attempt 6
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I want to make one last stand before I leave. I gather my morale for about 10 minutes. It’s time! I stand up and turn to the girl on my right. I tell her I have to leave soon, so I want to have one dance with her. I grab her wrist and lead her to the dance floor, and dance with her (she’s so self-conscious she’s barely shuffling side to side) for about 5 minutes. At one point, I put my hands on her shoulders and guide her side to side.

I finally thank her for the dance, and lead her back to her friends. I tell her “It was nice meeting you” and leave. She seems receptive to a number close but I don’t try, instead moving back into the dance floor.

I’m going to try to make one more round and try to find the girl in yellow if I can. By now it’s packed! I see many hot girls dancing in pairs but don’t have the morale to break in on any. I’m looking for an attractive and receptive looking girl to dance with, but can’t find one, so I move to the far corner seats at the bar and watch the crowd for 15 minutes.

I hear a bumpin song and decide it’s motivation to get me moving again. I move back into the crowd but don’t have enough morale for a dance attempt. I end up by the bottom of the stairs and dance alone for about 10 minutes. I feel I can’t leave without one last good attempt at an approach.

Attempt 7
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Finally, I notice some girls off to my right, trying to determine if they are with a couple of guys or not. Three of them are pretty cute, except for one small short square-headed one. I notice one girl with a grey shirt who is very shapely.

Eventually, she maneuvers around and ends up right next to me. I dance beside her for a bit, then turn to engage her. She smiles a bit at the corners of her mouth but won’t look directly at me, looking side to side instead, but she does seem pretty receptive to dancing, not backing away at all. She looks like she will get into me in a sec. I prepare to put my hand on her back.

But freaking square-head comes over and puts her hand on grey’s shoulder, saying something in her ear. She grabs grey’s arm. I almost grab square-head’s arm to break her hold, so I can keep Grey with me. The two girls walk away to my right into the crowd. Cockblocked! D’oh!

At this point I’m thinking about calling it a night, as I feel I gave it a good last shot. As I’m thinking and moving slowly toward the doors, I suddenly realize I don’t want to leave without Grey’s number. I decide I will wait and find her, this time moving right in and dancing and chatting her up, making sure I ask for her number.

After scanning the crowd for 10 minutes, lo and behold I see her at the bar. She sees me looking over there and makes brief eye contact. Square head seems to be egging her on to come over to me, as they keep looking my way. I smile in their direction.

Finally, they gradually walk over to me, until they are next to me, but facing away. Grey turns at one point to find me staring right at her. She gives me a quick cheesy grin, to which I smile, and turns away. I hesitate for a second, then I tap her shoulder. “You’re so pretty” I say, “What’s going on tonight?” She gives me a startled look. I ask whether she came with her boyfriend. She replies she came with her friend, pointing at square-head. I ask her if she has a boyfriend, but the question seems to unnerve her, and she moves off with her friend.

I befriend a guy who seems to be their friend. By this time Grey and her other friends are high up dancing on the stairs. My new guy friend suggests we go up and dance with the group. So we go up, and he starts dancing with a girl he’s been grinding with earlier, but Grey kind of runs away a few steps up. I dance by myself basically next to the guy, who is dancing behind the girl he’s been grinding. I am feeling conspicuously alone and kind of exposed so I’m thinking of calling it a night.

The guy asks me a few questions. Finally grey moves down to the same level as me, but as far away as possible. I grab her wrist and try to pull her toward me, but she resists. I tell the guy I’m calling it a night and to call me. He says he’ll give me a call the next day… I hope I can get some tips from him.

2:30 AM

I head out the club. I feel glad I made one last ditch effort — though it didn’t succeed, I leave with no regrets tonight.

UPDATE:

I ended up dating the street pickup girl 3 times, before I decided I didn’t want to pursue the relationship with her any longer. She just wasn’t very interesting to me, personality-wise.

UPDATE 2:

This was my last night clubbing for a LONG while. After this night, I somehow got talked into getting back with my girlfriend, and we ended up together again for a long time. Two years went by after I those first fateful months when I had started down the road of PUA. My fledgling skills became long dormant, and became completely rusty and undeveloped.